The Rise of the Bakras

We all have seen the Blockbusters such as the Rise of the planet of the apes, the Zombie apocalypse or some aliens taking over the earth and in the near future, we will be seeing the Computers taking over the planet earth with the advancement of the AI and such themes have become too Mainstream in the Hollywood. This Eid I am giving you something Special, something New, Something that should have heard long ago but it never existed, yes I am giving you for the 1st time in the history of the Mankind “the Rise of the Goats”.

Note for the Non-Urdu Readers: Bakra is Goat in Urdu.
Rise of the Planets of the Goats
It all started with the famous Phrase of our Desi moms ” Beta Badam Khao, Badam Khane se Aqal Teez hoti ha ” even though we all know ” Aqal Badam khane se ni balke dhoka Khane se ati ha “. So somewhere there was a stupid kid, who adored his bakra (Goat), and the almonds he was eating which are meant only for the humans, he shared them with his adored Goat as well. and with the 1st byte of the Almond, there was a spark created inside the brain of the Goat and it became unconscious for a lil while. and when it came back to its senses it wasn’t the same. It started to understand the kid’s language. the Kid got relieved to see the Goat came back to its senses and it said “Thanks God” and the Bakra understood what the kid meant. Now the Kid has gone back to his Room. Not far away from the Yard, there was a Public Library and the Goat with the brains wanted to read the Human Books. so he escaped the backyard of the Home and went to the Public Library totally Undetected, why he was able to go to Public Library Undetected? Dah! because no one goes to Libraries anymore. The 1st thing the Brainy Bakra does in the Public Library is that it finds the Roman and Greek Philosophy and it lands on the Will Durant books on the Philosophy and Chews all the Philosophy of the Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato. Next, it chews on other Philosophers books such as Auguste Comte, Friedrich Nietzsche, Victor Frankel, Sigmon Freud and Voltaire. Then it goes to the Science Section and chews on the Stephan Hawking book ” the Brief History of time”. it also chews on some of the volumes of 50 shades of grey to have a balance between total Brillance and total Stupidity. and when the stomach of the Bakra gets filled it makes its way out of the library back to the yard where he was kept for the Sacrifice of the Eid.

With Great Power comes the Great Responsibility, remembers the Bakra from the original spiderman movie of Tobey Maguire it watched on the Kids Mobile just a day before getting his super Brain. Since the Bakra has chewed on the Voltaire philosophy, it knows what right its Kind is missing. The Right to Freedom. But before it departs, it must say the truth to the Kid who accidentally gave him the superpowers. and there the Kid comes and the Goat starts addressing the kid.

Bakra:”Baa ! Hey Kido, I am the Bakra you bought for the Slaughter this eid, you don’t need to lie to me that you gonna play peek a boo with me. before I depart, I must tell you the truth,Baa ! Your Kind, I mean the Homo sapiens, Baa! they are the worst I have seen. ”

The kid 1st startles to see the talking bakra, the kid remembers a talking donkey from the Shrek movie but it was just a movie, not a reality but now its a talking Bakra in front of the kid. So the Kid gathers some strength and says

Kid: What Do you mean by that?
Bakra: Baa ! You homo sapiens actually became the Bakra Ball Fondlers when the time of the Eidul Adha comes, Baa ! You guys come and play with our nuts, and when it starts to get fun, you guys leave us unattended. its the worst crime I have witnessed against Goats race committed only by the humans. and after doing such a hideous crime you compare your kind with ours, I get comparisons with Messi and Rolando all the time. Tell you what, none of them can chew grass so stop comparing them to us.
Kid: I am only 13, I only watch Pogo, So I don’t know what you mean by that. but yes okay, from now on I won’t say Messi or Ronaldo is a G.O.A.T.
Bakra: and the worst is that your Kind is the most Racist one I have ever seen. Baa! It’s the 21st Century and Your so proclaimed Feminist kind will speak publically about the Equal rights everywhere, Baa ! but when it comes to slaughtering animals on the Eid, its always gets to be a male Gender. Baa !You are such a Hypocrite kind.
Kid: waoww, Our feminists never thought about that.
Goat: now its time to think about it, don’t just limit the gender rights to Wahmen, we also have gender rights in our race. BTW, Baa ! I am getting late, I just wanted to say Goodbye, I have lot of things to do, I have to free my kind from being slaughtered on this Eid.

And with that the Bakra said Good riddance to the kid and went on this quest to the “Rise of the Goats”. Stay Tuned till next eid to find out how the Bakras Rule the world.

Lessons: Love Your Bakra but Never ever share an almond with the Bakra.
Don’t have a Public Library in the Neighbour, just in case if the Bakras ever have the powers of reading and understanding the Humans Library they will be the 1st one even before the apes and Zombies to rise to the powers.
last but not the least, The Feminists of 21st centuary should have some principles, Bakra is a Male, talking about equal rights try slaughtering a female goat.

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Awkard Things Pakistani Girls Do on Social Media

We all know that Internet is not a safe place but MAN in Pakistan it’s full of disgust.if you just go out and surf for few mins and follow some Pakistani girls on the Social Media you will be sick for a whole day and you may wanna puke up, You think I am just making up this stuff. to Prove my point to the Global Internet I am gonna share few things that I see on an almost daily basis from Pakistani Girls.

  1. Names that will make you wanna quit on humanity.
    its just weird that of all the billions of girls in the world only Pakistani girls will make their social media accounts with the weirdest Names such as Innocent Kiran (yeah like other girls are on the most wanted list of the police and you are the only innocent girl in the world), Sweeto Sana ( Sweeto, I don’t wanna be rude but my cousin had a Bitch named Sweeto, people name their female dogs as one), Princess Anaya ( like yeah you are the renowned Princess of Pakistan just like the Lady Dianna), and Doll Rubi ( like barbie doll wasn’t enough in the world for the dumb girls as being the sex objects #Ouch).
    Time to leave earth
  2.  Guru in Selection of Dumbest Avators.
    Avatars or DP’s are a way to identify your selves on the internet, I understand the concept of covering your head as a Muslim but Pakistani girls have taken it to the next level. They will make their feet as their Display Pic’s or avatars, and if they had some level of authority they will choose to display their feet on their Personal ID Cards. Avatars are meant to show your character, if for some good reasons like security and privacy your don’t wanna reveal your face, you can choose some kind of cartoon character as an avatar or something else but of all the things in the world they chose to show their feet as the avatar, may be in some myths it is believed that the hags have gruesome or ugliest feets, so the Pakistani girls put lot of foundation on their feets and then put it as the display pic to show the World hey I am a Human, not some supernatural spirit. But its just not limited to feets, when Eid will come they will make their hands pic as their DP ( lamest Mentality on earth.)
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  3. Awwww-ful Praises
    Yes their way of praising each other is just adding awwwww-ful to everything. If some gal buys new shoes all of the other girls will be adding awww so nice, awww so cute.  awww looking so Beautiful.
    Awwful.png
  4. Mastering the Art of Friendzoned
    They have the natural talent of friendzoning, and they are so good at it that they will say the most romantic words in a FRIENDZYY way ” I love You but as a Friend”, and if you ask the Pakistani girl at the time of the Nikah ” motarmha kia apko falan Qabool ha ? ( Lady do you accept this guy as your Husband)” their ultimate reply would be ” han Qabool ha but as a Friend (Yes I accept him my Husband but as a Friend)” but Thanks, God they keep their full answer to themselves.
    friendzone-2.jpg
  5. The Most Commonly used Break Line By Pakistan Girls.
    Now, this is my most Fav One, idk who was the very 1st Pakistani girl to used these breakup lines but it has been picked up by almost every Pakistani girl. You see I have been watching a lot of Hollywood movies, seasons, I have played many video games like Sim City, I have watched lot of Japanese anime, I have watched Turkish dramas, Iranian Movies but none of the cultures have ever used these lines that every Pakistani girl uses for the Break Up’s.  these Magical Words are “Meri Engagement Ho Gai”.
    Meri Engagement Ho gai

Sheetan will stop you from sharing and Commenting on this Post So spread the word as much as you Can.

Happy Eid Mubarak

I have been super busy Learning Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator and After Effects.this is one of the reason I have been far away from Blogging. Well now that i can create my own Posters so lemme wish you all Happy Eid Mubarak.

bakra-eid

How “Death Note ” Should have been ended if it was Nalaik instead of Light

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Ever since i got free from studies, im enjoying time. Enjoying my vacations without any worries that my school, College or uni will start again. So i started watching Anime like ” Code Geas ” and ” Death Note ” . This Post won’t make any sense to you unless i explain it to you what is ” Death Note ” . Death note is a Anime, a Demonic Story of Talented Guy named Light, who falls upon a Note Book named as Death Note. The Book has crazy rules written over it and says if you write the Name of the Person with his picture in your head, he/she Dies . So light yagadami starts writing the names of all the criminals in the Death Note to eliminate the world from the criminals.

Now I liked the Idea of Death Note, and wanted to have a Death Note of my own. But here are few issues i could face using the Death Note.

1. Light found the death note in his school.
me , my school attendance was 30 percent 😀 so the series could have ended as , the Shinigami from the shinigami world dropped the note book in human world and no one ever founded it. the end.

2. If some how the book would have fallen into my school during the days i attended, and i got out of my class and found a Book lying on the floor . damn. i hated books, im a Nalaik Panda, i could have burnt the book because of my hatred for books, and the Shinigami ,the real devil owner of that book would have died at the instant and the Series ends. else i could have thrown it away, or buried it .

3. If some how i found that Book , and i go more far, instead of burning or throwing it away i could have brought it with me. but there was no way i could have read the rules on it. I never read any license agreement while installing the app, i never read my school books, so why would i read the instructions on the book. So with out knowing the real purpose of the book. i would have used it for Making planes in the class and throwing it at the teacher. and used all the pages in the book for flying planes :D. and that is how the Death Notes End.

4. If some how i go more far, i take the book, don’t throw it away, and don’t use the pages for flying planes, and lets say i some how did something which is of zero probability, i read the Rules written on the Death Note. that the person dies instantly if you write his/her name on the book. then this is how the death note could have ended. I would thought about writing all the names of my teachers who punished me at school for coming late,or for being absent,or for not doing my home work or for getting the lowest marks and the names of all the bullies in the school. So the instant i knew the rule i would have started writing their names, but there is a problem, I’m a Nalaik Panda, I can’t write spelling of anything properly, So the book says if you write name the person dies, and i would have written over 100 names with incorrect spellings and the ending would have become me finding out that this Death Note is just a baloney and i again would have used it for making planes. and thats how the Death Note series End. With Happy Endings.

Nalaik Celebrates 4th Anniversary by writing anime

So Here im with my 4th years Anniversary of Blogging. I Started this Blog 4 years ago before enrolling my self to University. and Now The Nalaik Panda has finished the Quest  of studying the Engineering program. But its still not over, In order to be a Successful Nalaik Panda i must Find a Job. For which i Have been practicing alot. Watching lots of Japaneses Anime that are Good for my brain but not for you. So far i have Watched “Code Geas ” and “Death Note “. So i thought why don’t i make a lil cute Anime story . You people can share it with your kids as a beautiful bed time stories, I swear they will never ever ask you again for the story and Sleep on their own.

Love is a Virus

the freaky Smiling anime i didn’t draw i just took it from google, so the onwer of this Anime you are welcome.  i wanted to draw something real scary its ain’t me. Need to Learn Digital Art. Don’t know how.

Mothers are Super Heroes

We all watch superhero’s comics,cartoons and movies.Like Superman,X men,Power puff girls,Fantastic four,Captain America ,Wonder woman and So on.We imagine being like them,or imagine some one to be like them and be our hero. In the end of the day we know that they are not real .But what if i tell you about a super Hero who is real and exists in almost everyone’s life ? The real Super Hero are our Mothers.

 A Mom is more Powerful than a Superhero and yes she has her own Superpowers.Moms don’t fight crimes,At dark fight evil or things that you watch in Super-movies But they do the most difficult job on earth.1st ,just like Bodybuilders go bulking before the competitions,and then look Muscular,in Same way our moms do a kind of bulking but which is called getting pregnant 😀 then carrying extra weight for 9 months they are trained enough to be a Super Mom. No Super Hero can give birth ,Only a Mom can does such a Heroic thing.A Superman has never faced a broken bone but a Mom is a Real Super hero who go throw extreme pain during child-birth and yet she loves her Baby,its a real heroic thing.And what they do after becoming a Super mom? Well if you bring a Superman to hush up a little baby, he cant make him/her smile,he cant make it go to sleep,he cant feed it.A Superman cant go near Krypton but a Super Mom she doesn’t mind changing the diapers.And her Super powers are great.A kid don’t know how to talk and write but a Mom will know through her super powers that her kid is hungry or it needs some sleep.”Super Pillow ” is her another super power,If you are feeling tired but cannot sleep,just lay your head on her shoulder ,lap or chest and you will be lost in dreams. If you are hurt,broken and feeling depressed ,she will give you “Super-Hug” that will forget your Sorrows.

And what more good they can bring ? “if there are 5 people and 4 apples,Mom will say i never liked apples”(Ibne Seena ) .They give up their sleep,rest,appetite ,hobbies,friends,life and everything for us.They keep us warm,young and alive.And as long as our Moms are alive our days are save .Those who have lost Moms,may Allah bless them in heaven,and those who have moms,may Allah keep them long because nobody wants to lose a “Supermom” .
P.S
I Love my Super Hero,My Beloved Mom ❤ .

Sheetan Vs Nalaik Panda

We all muslims know that when the month of Ramzan(Holy month in which muslims fast) comes, Sheetan(Satan) is caged, all his freedom is taken away till the Ramzan ends,so he cannot astray any human.

Just like satan when the month of Exam comes, Nalaik Panda is also imprisoned by his Parents, all my freedom, all my liberties just taken away,  and my room becomes like a face book where i talk to the walls .and when i give my final paper ,im set free  like a Satan after the Ramzan ends
Moon of Ramzan is sighted in Pakistan and today is the 1st Fast , sheetan/satan is going to his jail and he is pretty sad this because now a days people are more evil than him and no one will miss him in ramzan .
Have fun in Prison of hell dear satan 😛
and Marhaba Ramzan  🙂