Who Am I ?


Following the Quest of Bulleh Shah, I tried to find the answer of Who am I ? and I find this for myself.
*I am just a shadow
that No one wants near them
I am just a dust on a bookshelf
That is cleaned away
I am just a broken toy
With whom nobody wants to play
So I am thrown away
I am just a scream
That goes unheard
I am just a word
That gets lost in the translation
I am just a tear
That is wiped away
I am just a memory
That is forgotten so easily
I am just a bruised on a beloved’s skin
That is covered right away
I am just a thorn on a rose
That no body wants to touch
I am just a wish
That you wish you never had wished.*

Yep that is So me.


Ap ko mujse q Muhabat ha ?

Episode 2.



Aj Subah uthey hi Bhooley ka dil kuch udas tha. usne fajr ki namaz qaza ki thi shayad isleye. Muh hath doh ker aur begair nashta kiye wo janwaron k sath apne roz mara ke kam per nikal para. wo kisi udasi me khud se ulja hua kuch sawal krne laga .
” me kia hun? aik mitti ka dair jo aik haqeer se khoon ke lothre se ban gya. Na muje koi Zuban ati ha dhang se. na me koi sainsdaan, na me koi shair, na me koi badshah, muje tu koi bhi ni janta is jahan me. yea janwar bhi na muje samjte han aur na me inko samaj sakta hun.  aur Jis jis k sath bhi dil lagaya usi ne mere dil ko dukhaya. sab ko yad krta hun laken muje koi yad ni rakhta. kisi ko mere hone ya na hone se koi farq ni parta. Ae Khuda muje ni pata tune muje q banaya, me ne tu tujse ni kaha tha ke muje bana. aur phr tune banaya bhi tu banaya muje ghaltiyon ka putla. laken banaya tune muje shoq se. han muje tu tujse mohabat ha laken wo muhabat tu isleye ha ke teri misal koi ni, tu sirf aik Wahid ha, Hamesha rahne wala ha, Kamil ha, har aik aib se pak ha, tere se tu har aik ko mohabat ho jae gi. laken muje ni samaj ata ke tune muje kis leye bana, jab tere pas kisi cheez ki kami ni, tere pas faraisthe han jo teri har hal me ibadat krne me lage rahte han. me tuje bhool jata hun, tere elawa har aik ko yad krta hun , tuje meri koi zaroorat nahi, laken phr bhi tu muje yad rakhta ha, aur mujse be inteha Muhabbat krta ha. muje ni samaj ati Ya Allah apko q itni Mohabbat ha mujse ? muje apni zindagi ka maqsad ni pata laken yea janta hun ke yea zindagani sirf teri Mohabbat ki waja se ha”

Aur phr tappakte howe ansoowon me  usne apni ulji hoi zindagi ka maqsad jan lia. Kabi Kabi Allah dukh bhi sakoon k leye deta ha. uski Ajeeb si Mohabbat ha.

Help !

You were strangers with people before you become friends with them. and it is the worst thing in life if you again become strangers with them. It really hurts. but the most tragic part is that it is only you who gets hurt over it. The other ones don’t feel anything for losing you.
They just want to hurt you and you are hurting more for seeing them having no feelings for you. Now the ones you once loved are turned into a zombie, who just want to hurt you with no feelings of regret for doing so. and then every body you once loved turned into the same zombie and you end up being the only Human being in the city of Zombies. and then you release that the problem is not the zombies any more but you yourself for not becoming a Zombie and still being a Human. and then you are just screaming for help and wishing from those zombies to come and hurt you and turn you into one of them.


My Memories Haunt me

The word for Humans in Arabic is ” Insan” which means two things, one is the ones who feel Love, unlike animals they don’t have love,like a mother snake would eat its egg inorder to survive, but a Human mother won’t do that. So humans have love, humanity is defined by Love. and the Other meaning of word ” insan ” is forgetful. Yes we Humans are forgetful . But Me operates bit Differently, i have a Strong Memory, like real real Strong memories. and the key to have a strong memory is living in the Moments. I live in the moment and connect that moment with the time and date and remember each and everything exactly. if a certain moment is not worth for me i won’t remember it and that is defined by the moments spend with Loved one. if Some one is Loved one to me and i have a happy or sad moment with them i will live in that moment and connect it with my memory and it will linger on my mind for ever.
Now this is my Special power and it can be a Curse some times. actually most of the times.  Actually ,Humans are not Loving any more, they are mean. they just come and go in my life. i get attached to them. and then they leave just like that. and then the worst part happens. Me trying so hard to forget them. like praying to Allah , ya Allah erase those memories from my mind. unlike computer where you just delete a file and recycle it and its gone for ever. but here its different. People just go out of my life but their memories don’t and they just make my nostalgic life gloomy. Yes i do believe that everything in life has a Purpose, people come and go to give us a lesson. and i never learnt my lesson. and even having a Strong Memory , I remember everything but keep on forgetting the one who gave me this ability to remember things. So this part makes me “Insan”. Who remember everything but forgets one that he is the only ONE not to be Remembered .

Allhamdulillah /Praise the Lord

You know life can be a mess sometimes a Total Disaster. A darkness where you Loses your hope and wishes for death. It can become a scary thing for you. A Constant rejection from People, no matter what you do they just don’t want you in their life. Then you feel like your Life is a total Failure. But Believe me your Life is still not the failure if you are Grateful to your Lord even in those conditions i tell you, your life is Beautiful ,no matter how Miserable it is ,if you are Thankful to Allah it is worth Living.
There are plenty people in this world who have everything , every one but don’t have those words of praise on their hearts and Tongues so i say their Life is Miserable, its a total waste. No matter what May life bring you, Just don’t let it take away the words of Gratitude from your heart for your Beloved the Lords of the Heavens and the Earth . Say Allhamdulillah even when you are rejected, even when you are humiliated, even when you are just facing a worst failure of your life . Say Allhamdulillah when you say Allhamdulillah because many people don’t say Allhamdulillah.