Who Am I ?

 

Following the Quest of Bulleh Shah, I tried to find the answer of Who am I ? and I find this for myself.
*I am just a shadow
that No one wants near them
I am just a dust on a bookshelf
That is cleaned away
I am just a broken toy
With whom nobody wants to play
So I am thrown away
I am just a scream
That goes unheard
I am just a word
That gets lost in the translation
I am just a tear
That is wiped away
I am just a memory
That is forgotten so easily
I am just a bruised on a beloved’s skin
That is covered right away
I am just a thorn on a rose
That no body wants to touch
I am just a wish
That you wish you never had wished.*

Yep that is So me.

Help !

You were strangers with people before you become friends with them. and it is the worst thing in life if you again become strangers with them. It really hurts. but the most tragic part is that it is only you who gets hurt over it. The other ones don’t feel anything for losing you.
They just want to hurt you and you are hurting more for seeing them having no feelings for you. Now the ones you once loved are turned into a zombie, who just want to hurt you with no feelings of regret for doing so. and then every body you once loved turned into the same zombie and you end up being the only Human being in the city of Zombies. and then you release that the problem is not the zombies any more but you yourself for not becoming a Zombie and still being a Human. and then you are just screaming for help and wishing from those zombies to come and hurt you and turn you into one of them.

zombie-background.jpg

My Memories Haunt me

The word for Humans in Arabic is ” Insan” which means two things, one is the ones who feel Love, unlike animals they don’t have love,like a mother snake would eat its egg inorder to survive, but a Human mother won’t do that. So humans have love, humanity is defined by Love. and the Other meaning of word ” insan ” is forgetful. Yes we Humans are forgetful . But Me operates bit Differently, i have a Strong Memory, like real real Strong memories. and the key to have a strong memory is living in the Moments. I live in the moment and connect that moment with the time and date and remember each and everything exactly. if a certain moment is not worth for me i won’t remember it and that is defined by the moments spend with Loved one. if Some one is Loved one to me and i have a happy or sad moment with them i will live in that moment and connect it with my memory and it will linger on my mind for ever.
Now this is my Special power and it can be a Curse some times. actually most of the times.  Actually ,Humans are not Loving any more, they are mean. they just come and go in my life. i get attached to them. and then they leave just like that. and then the worst part happens. Me trying so hard to forget them. like praying to Allah , ya Allah erase those memories from my mind. unlike computer where you just delete a file and recycle it and its gone for ever. but here its different. People just go out of my life but their memories don’t and they just make my nostalgic life gloomy. Yes i do believe that everything in life has a Purpose, people come and go to give us a lesson. and i never learnt my lesson. and even having a Strong Memory , I remember everything but keep on forgetting the one who gave me this ability to remember things. So this part makes me “Insan”. Who remember everything but forgets one that he is the only ONE not to be Remembered .

Allhamdulillah /Praise the Lord

You know life can be a mess sometimes a Total Disaster. A darkness where you Loses your hope and wishes for death. It can become a scary thing for you. A Constant rejection from People, no matter what you do they just don’t want you in their life. Then you feel like your Life is a total Failure. But Believe me your Life is still not the failure if you are Grateful to your Lord even in those conditions i tell you, your life is Beautiful ,no matter how Miserable it is ,if you are Thankful to Allah it is worth Living.
There are plenty people in this world who have everything , every one but don’t have those words of praise on their hearts and Tongues so i say their Life is Miserable, its a total waste. No matter what May life bring you, Just don’t let it take away the words of Gratitude from your heart for your Beloved the Lords of the Heavens and the Earth . Say Allhamdulillah even when you are rejected, even when you are humiliated, even when you are just facing a worst failure of your life . Say Allhamdulillah when you say Allhamdulillah because many people don’t say Allhamdulillah.

I couldn’t give it a Title

Educational institutes are opening across Pakistan including Schools , Colleges and Universities from tomorrow (i.e 12th January 2015), Including the Army Public School Peshawar where the terrifying incident happened on 16th December. Tomorrow most of the kid will be eager to go school and see their buddies after so long, Moms will be ironing their uniform for tomorrow. Dad will wait for their kids to pick up after school.
Will it be same for Army Public School Peshawar ? Many of students will go there and will not see their best friends whom they saw getting killed brutally in front of their eyes. Many students will miss their favorite teachers. Many Teachers will be missing their kids while teaching to the whole class. Many Moms will see other Moms in the neighborhood kissing their kids before they leave for school, and they will have no one to kiss. Many Moms will go to their kids room to wake them for the school but they will just shed tears when they will find the empty beds. Many kids in school will miss their elder brothers who used to look after them.Many Teachers will miss their favorite students who used to answer every question in the class. How many teachers will be there in the class with the attendance sheet of the dead students. Every one remembers their 1st day at school, but what about the little girl who shot dead on her 1st day of school ? What about the Teacher who protected her class instead of her own kids in the other class, and as a result she lost them without saying a Goodbye. Tomorrow she must be going to teach there but her kids will not be with her, How must she feel ?

I have my final exams resuming from tomorrow which were postponed due to 16th December and I’m  here writing and crying thinking of those kids who were slaughtered barbarically. My city never used to be like this,and I remember going to same school to pick my elder bro with my Dad.and I have been there for my Engineering entry test twice. It used to be green everywhere before it turned into red.
May Allah give patience to every Mom, every Son, every Dad, every Brother, every Sister,every Husband, every Teacher, every Wife and to every Friend, who lost their loved ones 😦
” To him we belong to him we shall return ” . images (4)

Being Ungrateful (Episode 2)

Episode 1 Link
Click here,

It was late at night and the whole village was surrounded by the Silence.it wasnot cloudy so the whole village was visible in the Moon Light. Every where was Serenity. The Trees were humbled and bowing down to praise the Glory of their Creator.
In the Midst of Night Bholla was Sobbing in tears while every one else was sleeping in serenity.Bholla was crying on Losing some one he loved the most.So he was saying ” This life sucks,nothing lasts permanently,Moments of happiness never last forever, I always end up letting go people i love the most.and i go through this melancholic state alone.it breaks me from inside. im sick of my life. I want to die ” . He got out of his quilt,stood up wiping away his tears moving towards the washroom. And he glanced through the window and stared at the soothing scene. So he thought to his self ” Why are these trees so calm ? Why they have no sadness ? when they have nothing at all if compared to me? ” and then he realized all this long he was the only one being ungrateful to his Creator. “Allah has given me so many things, he has given me eyes to see, given me this perfect working body,given me the best parents, given me the most stupid and annoying friends,.Yet i never thanked him for all of it. and i just lost one person and Losing my mind,I’m complaining about my life.That is why the Arabs have the word “Disbeliever ” to describe an Ungrateful person.” So he realized what was going wrong in his life. and to mend everything he wronged he utterly said ” Al-hamdulillah, Indeed you are the Most Merciful Allah,You kept giving me all this long yet i never thanked you for all what you have given me , Please forgive me for being ungrateful ” .and Just after saying those words,there was a smile on his face and tranquility in his heart.

So Allah took away something from him to teach him something far greater. That is why Rumi said ” The Wound is the place where the Light enters you ” .

“And He gives you of all that you ask Him; and if you count Allah’s favors, you will not be able to number them; most surely man is very unjust, very ungrateful.” (14:34)