The Rise of the Bakras

We all have seen the Blockbusters such as the Rise of the planet of the apes, the Zombie apocalypse or some aliens taking over the earth and in the near future, we will be seeing the Computers taking over the planet earth with the advancement of the AI and such themes have become too Mainstream in the Hollywood. This Eid I am giving you something Special, something New, Something that should have heard long ago but it never existed, yes I am giving you for the 1st time in the history of the Mankind “the Rise of the Goats”.

Note for the Non-Urdu Readers: Bakra is Goat in Urdu.

It all started with the famous Phrase of our Desi moms ” Beta Badam Khao, Badam Khane se Aqal Teez hoti ha ” even though we all know ” Aqal Badam khane se ni balke dhoka Khane se ati ha “. So somewhere there was a stupid kid, who adored his bakra (Goat), and the almonds he was eating which are meant only for the humans, he shared them with his adored Goat as well. and with the 1st byte of the Almond, there was a spark created inside the brain of the Goat and it became unconscious for a lil while. and when it came back to its senses it wasn’t the same. It started to understand the kid’s language. the Kid got relieved to see the Goat came back to its senses and it said “Thanks God” and the Bakra understood what the kid meant. Now the Kid has gone back to his Room. Not far away from the Yard, there was a Public Library and the Goat with the brains wanted to read the Human Books. so he escaped the backyard of the Home and went to the Public Library totally Undetected, why he was able to go to Public Library Undetected? Dah! because no one goes to Libraries anymore. The 1st thing the Brainy Bakra does in the Public Library is that it finds the Roman and Greek Philosophy and it lands on the Will Durant books on the Philosophy and Chews all the Philosophy of the Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato. Next, it chews on other Philosophers books such as Auguste Comte, Friedrich Nietzsche, Victor Frankel, Sigmon Freud and Voltaire. Then it goes to the Science Section and chews on the Stephan Hawking book ” the Brief History of time”. it also chews on some of the volumes of 50 shades of grey to have a balance between total Brillance and total Stupidity. and when the stomach of the Bakra gets filled it makes its way out of the library back to the yard where he was kept for the Sacrifice of the Eid.

With Great Power comes the Great Responsibility, remembers the Bakra from the original spiderman movie of Tobey Maguire it watched on the Kids Mobile just a day before getting his super Brain. Since the Bakra has chewed on the Voltaire philosophy, it knows what right its Kind is missing. The Right to Freedom. But before it departs, it must say the truth to the Kid who accidentally gave him the superpowers. and there the Kid comes and the Goat starts addressing the kid.

Bakra:”Baa ! Hey Kido, I am the Bakra you bought for the Slaughter this eid, you don’t need to lie to me that you gonna play peek a boo with me. before I depart, I must tell you the truth,Baa ! Your Kind, I mean the Homo sapiens, Baa! they are the worst I have seen. ”

The kid 1st startles to see the talking bakra, the kid remembers a talking donkey from the Shrek movie but it was just a movie, not a reality but now its a talking Bakra in front of the kid. So the Kid gathers some strength and says

Kid: What Do you mean by that?
Bakra: Baa ! You homo sapiens actually became the Bakra Ball Fondlers when the time of the Eidul Adha comes, Baa ! You guys come and play with our nuts, and when it starts to get fun, you guys leave us unattended. its the worst crime I have witnessed against Goats race committed only by the humans. and after doing such a hideous crime you compare your kind with ours, I get comparisons with Messi and Rolando all the time. Tell you what, none of them can chew grass so stop comparing them to us.
Kid: I am only 13, I only watch Pogo, So I don’t know what you mean by that. but yes okay, from now on I won’t say Messi or Ronaldo is a G.O.A.T.
Bakra: and the worst is that your Kind is the most Racist one I have ever seen. Baa! It’s the 21st Century and Your so proclaimed Feminist kind will speak publically about the Equal rights everywhere, Baa ! but when it comes to slaughtering animals on the Eid, its always gets to be a male Gender. Baa !You are such a Hypocrite kind.
Kid: waoww, Our feminists never thought about that.
Goat: now its time to think about it, don’t just limit the gender rights to Wahmen, we also have gender rights in our race. BTW, Baa ! I am getting late, I just wanted to say Goodbye, I have lot of things to do, I have to free my kind from being slaughtered on this Eid.

And with that the Bakra said Good riddance to the kid and went on this quest to the “Rise of the Goats”. Stay Tuned till next eid to find out how the Bakras Rule the world.

Lessons: Love Your Bakra but Never ever share an almond with the Bakra.
Don’t have a Public Library in the Neighbour, just in case if the Bakras ever have the powers of reading and understanding the Humans Library they will be the 1st one even before the apes and Zombies to rise to the powers.
last but not the least, The Feminists of 21st centuary should have some principles, Bakra is a Male, talking about equal rights try slaughtering a female goat.

Selfie ka Keera

So one of the Most Annoying things I face every day in my office is seeing the Selfie ka Keera in my working environment. So far from my Scientific Observations, I have seen this keera relatively higher in the females than the males.

Now the anomaly behavior of this Keera is that it makes its host do weird things for no stupid Reason. You go to the office every day, You go to the same workplace every day, you sit on the same chair every day, use the same Laptop every day, Same light effects nothing change. its not like you visited an exotic place for the 1st time, or the scenery is breathtaking, or there is a rainbow on the top of your head no its the same old roof, not even the color of the walls has been changed, its not like you are wearing a Gucci or an Armani shirt today or today you are wearing a new Rolex or a philipe pattek wrist watch or today some new celebrity has visited the office, its not like you bought a new spectacles that now your face is totally changed or you have changed your hairstyle, its been the same since past 1 year nothing is different from yesterday or from past one year but still I don’t know why the victim of this keera will waste one hour in the office taking a selfie.

the chicks of my office gonna waste one hour just taking selfies every single day. If the angel of the death could be detected by the camera, they would ask him hey wait before you take my soul, let’s take a selfie. and then they would put it on social media with the hashtag #SelfieWithAngelOfDeath.

People accomplishments in the roman era was calculating the Diameter of the earth with out having any proper instruments, Pythagoras achievement was putting a theory that sun is the centre of the universe, Egyptions built pyramids way before the romans to observe the astronomical heavenly bodies, our greatest achievement every day is finding the right Kutte wala Filter for the face.